A Literary Sedative For Kids - Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book - A MUST HAVE For ALL Parents

My children are having a difficult time adjusting from West Coast time to East Coast hours. Their sleep patterns are scrambled. While I could probably give them a tiny bit of melatonin, I'm, instead, taking the literary road – with Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book.

I discovered this tome when the Teen was maybe 2 and it's been my “emergency sedative” for him and my daughter ever since. Dr. Seuss tells the story of Van Vleck, a very small bug who is getting sleeeeepy. His yawn (they're contagious, you know) sets off a chain reaction which makes those around him tired and gradually spreads world-wide.

In the book's pages you'll meet all kinds of exotic creatures including stilt-walkers, the Hinkle-Horn Honking Club, the collapsible Frink, Joe and Mo Redd-Zoff, the Hoop-Soup-Snoop Group, the Curious Crandalls, Chippendale Mupp (who bites his tail), Mr. and Mrs. J. Carmichael Krox, snorers who make music, a dreaming moose and goose, the Bumble-Tub Club which is sleeping afloat, and the salesmen in the Vale of Va-Vode sleeping all over the road (and everywhere else). 

The book's cadence is mesmerizing as it lulls you into a state of relaxation. Reading it to your child, you will find yourself calmer and yawning along with your child. It is the BEST Dr. Seuss book you'll ever read and is the next best thing to a ride in the car to help your child fall asleep. Buy it, read it, keep it. You may even use it after the kids move out.

Please note that this posting originally appeared on www.thegeekparent.com.  

Parents Of Teens: You Need To Know About TeenCentral.Net, A SAFE Place For Teens

It seems that every day we, as parents, are warned about the dangers facing teens on the Internet. Rare is it that we hear about a positive site aimed at these kids. I'm proud to have found one: TeenCentral (www.teencentral.net). This website is sponsored by KidsPeace, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping children in crisis. It allows kids to post anonymously, was developed by experts in teen counseling and psychology, is professionally monitored, and provides “a password-protected, safe cyberspace for teens to work out their issues.”

Teens have a lot of options here: from writing their own stories (anonymously), to listening to teen podcasts, and exploring and learning about topics like:

• Bullying
• How To Quit Smoking (Do kids REALLY need this?!)
• Alcohol Awareness
• Growing Up Military
• Interfaith (where kids can learn about different faiths)
• Domestic Violence
• Dating Violence
• Weight Issues

One of the coolest features is the Search-O-Matic where young adults can search by a keyword. So, for example, if a teen types in the word “parents,” any teen stories that feature “parents” comes up. These could be stories about parents favoring one child over another, divorce, parents who promised music lessons but didn't follow through, etc.

Kids can also share videos on Teen Central, however they are warned that because the site values anonymously and safety, it will “not post any video that contains your actual name, where you live or any contact information such as email address or phone numbers.” Furthermore, they stress that “if you submit a video that you are visible in, people will see your face and therefore will be able to identify you.”

There's also a section called Just Ask Me that features a series of videos called “More Than Just Sex” and was created by Community Healthcare Network's Teens P.A.C.T. program in New York City. These videos are targeted to empower teens to make positive decisions, create social change, and positively impact the rates of teen pregnancy, STD's and HIV.

Lastly, the site features links to national and international help lines, thus ensuring that help for troubled teens is only a phone call away.

Kids can register on TeenCentral for free in order to gain full access to the entire site. Since it's interactive, it stores what they tell it and customizes topics to their life. BUT since it's totally anonymous, teens can feel free to share what's going on in their lives and because email addresses are not given, no one can track the kids down or spam them.

Pass this website’s address on to a teen you love. And if you'd like to learn more about KidsPeace, visit http://www.kidspeace.org. 

Note:  A version of this post first appeared on the site www.thegeekparent.com and also appears on my other site http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com.  

It MUST Be Me...

Our family caught with friends and acquaintances this summer.  These are people we like and generally respect; however, I’m flummoxed by responses to some of their children’s behavior and by what they ask their kids to do.

Case in point: Bob and Carol (not their real names) are lovely people whom we’ve known for many years. Their son is Little Timmy, age 7. The other day, Carol told me that their sweet little boy:

• Regularly strips down naked in the house and then jumps up and down on the couch in front of a curtainless window.
• Likes to periodically pee on the front lawn.
• Goes around the house and finishes all the half-full wine coolers he can find.

Carol thinks this is very funny; so funny, that she posts Timmy's antics on Facebook. Bob works late and, although he hears about these little episodes, isn’t around to correct them.

It must be me, because I find Little Timmy’s behavior disturbing. Since Timmy is 7, I would think he should know better and if he doesn't, he’s obviously not being appropriately corrected. I’m just thankful I’m not the neighbors.

Here’s something else I don’t understand: Betty Sue (again, not her real name) is 11, a fine, sweet girl who lives a few houses down from me. I recently saw her strolling up the block carrying a 6-pack of beer. She was carrying it to another neighbor’s house where Mom and Dad were partying with friends on the front lawn. Apparently the party needed more alcohol and who better to fetch it than an 11 year old? Putting aside the fact that we live in an upscale suburb and that the adults were partying on the front lawn like a bunch of frat boys, it must be me who thinks is inappropriate because clearly, Betty Sue’s parents did not.

I do not consider my husband and I prudes. Ok, so we regulate how much sweets our kids have (my daughter has notoriously bad teeth) and how much video they watch lest their brains become mush. But I hope that’s responsible parenting. My children can choose to be naked…in the bathroom and in their bedrooms. And they are free to pee…in the bathroom. No, they cannot drink alcohol before the legal age (besides it being the law and unhealthy, we’re hoping to avoid the temptations of liquor until they’re older). And we would certainly never ask them to fetch alcohol for us; it just seems inappropriate.

My children are well aware of parenting styles we like and do not like. We’ve talked about stuff we deem appropriate and things “we, as a family do NOT do.” Lastly, we’ve discussed that adults parent their children as they see fit and we parent our children in accordance with our belief systems.

Based on what I’ve been told and seen, clearly, many others do not agree. I shake my head pretty often at what others permit their kids to do.  It must be me.

In Defense Of (Some, But Not All) Soccer Moms

Soccer Mom on the field at dawn.

It's the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning when I'd rather be sleeping. My plan today was to roll out of bed at 8am, have coffee, go to church, and spend the day reading the paper while my husband takes the kids out to the park. Instead, I'm bundled up in sweats and my winter coat. I have a warm woolen hat pulled down over my ears and if I could curl up into the fetal position I would. Instead my hefty bottom is plunked down into a folding canvas chair while a blanket from the car is swaddled around me. I am at my town's soccer playoffs watching my son. I am a soccer mom.


Now the term “Soccer Mom” has a negative connotation. It broadly refers to an American middle-class, suburban woman who spends a lot of time transporting her school-age children to their sporting events or other after-school activities. Sometimes she's portrayed in the media as being a bit neurotic and overprotective of her brood as she drives her minivan or SUV all over Suburbia. And, according to Wikipedia, “soccer moms are sometimes accused of forcing their children to go to too many after- activities” and “over-parenting them in concerted cultivation rather than letting them enjoy their childhood.”


While I have no doubt that that last part about over-parenting is true in quite a few cases, I need to defend those of us mini-van driving parents who do schlep our kids all over the place. Most of my peers drive our kids to places the children themselves want to go. As my husband pointed out to my wee folk a few weeks ago, without any prompting from me, “If your mother wasn't around after school, you two wouldn't be able to do half the things you like to do including having playdates and participating in sports!” When I was growing up, not only did my mother lack a car, but there wasn't the enormous assortment of extra-curricular activities my children can choose from today. How lucky today's youth are to be able to pick from a menu of classes and sports that suit their fancies! And as for the schlepping, do you really think I want to spend most of my evenings hauling kids to soccer fields and gymnastics practices? I would rather be home, cooking dinner and getting my brood ready for bed instead of driving and waiting for them to be finished. I, and women like me, do it because we want our children to try new things and be able to pursue what they love.

When bored, my 8-year old decided to roll down the hill.  I would have barfed...

So there I was, with 30 or so other parents, accompanied with my husband who was frantically trying to keep the 8-year old amused. The field we were sitting in was damp and wind whipped through my layers and my blanket. My hopes soared or sank with every soccer ball my son kicked or missed. I bit my tongue when parents from the opposing team gleefully cheered their sons on to win the town's championship. And I mentally slapped them silly with an invisible 2'x4' when they sarcastically taunted the losing team with “better luck next year.” Bite me, you *(&! twits!


When Junior's team lost, I cried inside and hugged him outside. He'll be back next year because he loves to play. I'll be back on the field because I love him. And this week, like most, I'll spend my evenings schlepping my very talented 8-year old to and from gymnastics practice, not because I want to, but because she loves the sport. Like most parents of budding athletes, sports is time-intensive and expensive, but we do it, not for ourselves, but for our children. Yep. I am, indeed, a soccer mom and proud of it!


By the way, as I was researching the term “soccer mom” for this post, I found this great little story on the website www.cafemom.com:


A mom was making breakfast of fried eggs for her young son. Suddenly, the boy bursts into the kitchen and starts yelling, “"Careful! Careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them. TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter! Oh my! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful! CAREFUL! I said CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy! Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!"

The mom stared at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I don't now how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The son calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm trying to play soccer."


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Thanks for reading! Come again, won't you?

The Mixed (Candy?) Bag That Is Halloween

My Diva wearing Junior's Halloween costume

So the biggest holiday outside of Christmas is three days away: Halloween, that formerly pagan celebration where parents spend mucho dinero on costumes the wee folk will wear for one day so they can go door-to-door begging for candy. I used to get really excited by it, but after spending 13 years of this celebration as a parent, I'm getting a bit weary. I mean, how much candy do kids really need?

The first Halloween we owned our house, I arrived home at about 5:30pm and was just getting out of my car when I heard a cry in the street: “She's home! Get her!” I looked up to find a gang of about eight kids, in costume, running down the hill toward me, their goodie bags open expectantly. I quickly hightailed it into the house and had about a minute before eight little fists began impatiently banging on the door. Talk about a Halloween haunting!

Maybe that's why I feel so ambivalent about Halloween. While I'm delighted that my children have so much fun dressing up and foraging for sugar, there are aspects of the holiday I'm not so keen on.  All of the comparing, for example.  Who has the “better” costume? Who gets the most candy? Who gives out the best candy? Who went out the longest? Which neighborhoods have the best houses from which to score the most/best candy? Why can't they just, as the kindergarteners used to chant, “get what we get and not get upset”?  Also, there is often an appalling lack of manners in the kids who come to my door.  Unless the kids are little with parents behind them prompting, I get a lot of kids at my door who don't even say “thank-you” for the candy I hand them. When I take my daughter out, if I don't hear her give thanks at every door, we stop and review. 

And there's the grossness of some decorations.  I blogged some time ago about how I didn't appreciate how graphic some of my neighbors made their Halloween decorations. They put out some realistic depictions of dismembered bodies that little ones found horribly scary and repulsed me. While I appreciate “freedom of expression,” I also think common sense is in order and wish people would refrain from displaying stuff that scars little kids. And to those who commented on that post that I need to “lighten up” on this attitude, please  list your phone number so that those parents whose toddlers are up at midnight, screaming because of the display on your lawn, might call and keep you up the way the memories of your display are keeping their kids up.

Still, Halloween is fun. Many of the costumes are cute and clever and it's adorable seeing the kids scamper up and down my block with looks of absolute joy on their faces. Then there's the post-trick-or-treating candy negotiations.  When my daughter was a toddler, before she could even read the words on the candy labels, she held her own as she and her brother gleefully surveyed their loot and then traded for whichever candy each liked best. My favorite part of Halloween is, of course, after the kids are asleep and I get to raid their stashes for Snickers or Butterfingers bars. 


No, the kids don't need candy. But in this day and age when kids are being forced to grow up so fast and when they're all virtually addicted to video screens, it's nice that they can have one day of wild abandon when they can just run around and be children. My weariness doesn't matter; those negative aspects of the holiday are purely my issues. One day in the not-to-distant future, I'll be one of those older people who smiles wistfully at the little skeletons and witches at my door, remembering my own wee folk at that age.  is Halloween is truly for the kids. I hope yours have a happy, happy day!

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Thank you for reading!  Come again, won't you?

Pardon Me While I Vent About Other Parents Being Late

Maybe I'm a witch, but I don't appreciate late pick-ups for playdates

Sorry, folks, but I have to vent.  My daughter recently had a new friend, Stacy, over for a playdate.  Now new playdates are dicey because kids who get along in school and on the blacktop don't always get along when it's just the two of them at someone's house.  So I asked the mom to pick the kid up after two hours.  "No can do," the woman replied.  "My other daughter has a dance class.  I can't pick up until 6 o'clock."  I understand that because we run around a lot, too.  So I hesitantly agreed;I mean we were going to be home anyway.   Still, I was nervous because that's really long for a first-time playdate.  Thank God Stacy was nice, polite, sweet, and calm.  But 6pm came and went and still no sign of Stacy's Mom.   Again, we weren't rushing anywhere so I didn't call the mother, figuring she's probably stuck in traffic.  It's dinnertime, so I make an extra portion of dinner and feed my own kids plus a very hungry Stacy.  6:30 passes and still no Mom.  I am getting ticked.    Finally, at 7pm, Stacy's mom shows up without any apologies, mumbles a "thank you" and the two quickly leave.

What just happened? Apparently nothing involving common courtesy!    I've been a few minutes late to playdate pick-ups (hey - stuff happens), but not without a profusely apologetic phone call or a text!  Unfortunately, not respecting pick-up times is not unusual these days. 

The first time it happened, Junior was in kindergarten and the playdate was sandwiched in between the end of school and his tae kwon do.  David's mom was two hours late.  What to do?  I tried calling the Mom, but there was no answer.  I still had to get Junior to class, so I got him ready to go, stuck a note on my door for the mother, plopped both kids in the car (this was before I had my daughter), and started backing out of the driveway.  A car pulls up.  "Where are you taking my son?" David's mother demanded.  "Well, you're an hour late picking him up and I have to get my son to a class so I was going to take your child with me," I replied.  "You had no right to take my son anywhere!" said David's mother, grabbing the child and dragging him to her car.  And YOU had no right to be that late and unavailable!

Last story:  Junior, now 13, invited two friends over for lunch this summer.  He told them they needed to be picked up at 5pm.  5 o'clock came and went, 5:30 arrived and still no word from the other parents.  Supposedly the boys had texted their parents who were allegedly on their way (I live in a small town - it does NOT take 1/2 an hour to get from one section to the other).  This was on a Saturday and my husband was now ravenous for dinner.  "WTF?" he asks.  I yawned and explained it's happened before.  Since NO ONE was coming for our guests, my spouse wound up taking both boys home.

If either of my kids wants to go over someone's house, I ask what time they should be picked up.  If I can't pick up at the time requested, the kid doesn't go.  Parents who are kind enough to host a playdate should not be inconvenienced, no matter how much the kids want to play together.  And, as I said, if I'm running a wee bit late (never more than 5 minutes - tops), I call or text with heartfelt apologies. 

The end result?  If I can't rely on some parents to respect my pick-up times, their children cannot come to play with my kids.  It's a shame, too,  because these are nice, well-mannered kids.  Nevertheless, our schedule as a family goes on and should not be subjected to the discourtesy of other parents.  It's sad, but when it comes to playdates, the sins of the parents unfortunately effect the lives of their children.