Thursday, December 4, 2008

My Dream GPS

Through the generosity of my family, I, who get lost backing out of the parking lot, now have a GPS. Ahhhh. I've been having fun with the various voices I can download and have settled on a Doug McKenzie-type of Canadian voice. Somehow I find it comforting.

What I really need is my Dream GPS. It's features would include:

- Constant Reassurance that I'm going the right way ("You're doing well. Keep going.").
- Landmark Recognition ("Make a left at that ugly house that's painted orange. Make a right at the gas station with the mean attendant.").
- Gentle, Supportive Re-Navigation Feature ("I see you've decided to not heed my advice with that turn. That's OK. Let's move on.").
- Emotional Support ("Never mind the idiot who gave you the finger. You're a good person.").
- Marriage Counseling ("You're doing fine. Never mind what HE says. And by the way, you look lovely today.").
- The Nanny Feature ("The kids are just having a little argument in the back seat. No blood has been shed. Keep driving.").

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