I Am The Worst Mother In The World

My Dear Children,

I am the Worst Mother in the World.  I know that because you have told me that repeatedly since each of you was 5 (you're now 8 and 13 respectively).  Apparently there are dastardly qualities associated with that title that you've described in great detail.  I am overprotective because I don't let you go where you want to go by yourself.  I am cheap because I don't buy you all the things you want that your friends have. I am nosy because I talk to other kids' moms about you and what you're doing.  I'm intrusive because I explain to elementary school teachers when you don't understand the homework.   I am an alarmist because I monitor what you watch on television and where you surf on the Web.  I am too concerned about nutrition because I don't let you eat candy non-stop.  I embarrass you because I try to get to know your friends.  I make you go to church when you want to stay home.  I force you to take a shower when you just took one last week.  I won't let you stay home from school when some of your friends' moms let their kids play hookey.  I am strict too strict where other parents are not.

Well, too bad.  I am your mother and I know things you cannot possibly know now and will not know until later.  I know that crime in our town is rising and I don't want you to be a victim.  I won't buy you what you want because money is tight and half of the stuff you buy is going to wind up on the floor of your room within a few months.  You don't always get what you want, so appreciate what you have.  That's just the way it is.  Yes, I get to know your friends and their parents because you are who you hang with and I want to make sure those people share our values.  I speak with your teachers because they may not be aware that they're not getting through to you.  I watch what you're watching so I have some common ground with you and can combat some of the garbage the media and Web is exposing you to.  I monitor your food because what you put in your mouth today becomes a part of your health tomorrow.  I make you go to church because you'll need that spiritual foundation when life kicks you to the curb.  I won't let you cut school because school is your JOB and raising you is mine.  I am strict because I love you - no matter what.

Hate me all you want, call me what you want.  I only get one chance with you and I am NOT screwing that up.  Yes, I AM the Worst Mom in the World and I'm proud of that because I am YOUR mom and love you more than anything.

So there!

Love,

Mom

Soccer Mom Car Essentials

Fall is a busy time for us.  My daughter, Diva, was just asked to be on a local gymnastics team which means we're on the road four nights a week.  Junior is playing and reffing soccer.  Plus there are other things we have to do like go to the orthodontist, get flu shots, etc.  So we're in the car A LOT.

Inevitably, when we're schlepping around, at least one kid is hungry (and in the case of the teen, STARVING).  My husband's goal that the children were not going to eat in the car proved laughable.  But fast food is expensive and not particularly nutritious, so no matter how much the troops beg and whine, they ain't getting any.   For that reason, I'd like to share with you my humble list of essential foods to stock in the car when you're on the go:

1.  Bottled water - This is something everybody needs, including me.  I carry a case of it.  After vacillating between getting the small 8 ounce bottles, which I know the kids will finish, or the 16 ounce bottles, which they drink more of but usually leave half, I'm sticking with the bigger size.  Yes,  neither option is great for the earth, but they're convenient.  And yes, there's usually some H20 left in the bottle which is wasteful, but I think the larger size encourages them to drink more.  I just take the leftover water and give it to the plants before recycling the bottles. 

2.  Protein bars - I mentioned on my other blog "'Is It Hot In Here?' Menopause, Motherhood, & More" (http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com)  that I'd brought these down to the beach when I played hookey without stating which brand I bought.  Zone Perfect are the only ones my son will eat.

I think the other ones are fine, but I'm not going to buy each person his/her own protein bars, so these are the official ones for my family.  They're LOADED with vitamins and make you feel fuller longer than cereal or fruit bars.  I buy them at Costco, but they're not always available (like today - #!$!), so I'd suggest that if your family likes them, you stock up.  The problem for me is that Diva is doesn't like them - any of them.  So I also stock...

3.  Cereal packets - No, I do not purchase the individual boxes.   That's too wasteful and I'm too cheap.  I buy a large box of whatever Cheerios my daughter is into and divide it up into zipper-sealed sandwich, not snack, bags.  The snack bags are way too small for a hungry gymnast.  Stick ten bags of these in your car and they're fine as second dinners (my daughter eats at least two dinners on gymnastics days). 

Other foods I stock in the car are mints (for the occasional carsickness), some cereal bars (these tend to contain more sugar than the cereals themselves, so I only use them if the kids are about to pass out from hunger), and dried seaweed.  I discovered dried seaweed when I was on the Bead Diet and my daughter embraced this Asian staple.  Yes, it's a bit high in sodium, but it's crunchy and salty and chock-a-block full of vitamins.  She'll eat it on the blacktop after school and since it's an acquired taste, I don't have to worry about other kids taking it from her. 

Non-food essentials that I carry are folding chairs, a blanket (you never know when you'll need one plus it makes a lovely play tent), an extra sweatshirt for each child and me, and an extra soccer ball.  Plus I have a tote bag stuffed with a few pens and notebooks so that Diva can draw while she watcher her brother play soccer and I can write.  Lastly, I usually have an envelope of whatever junk mail I've been meaning to read. 

What to you carry?  Let me know!

Curvy or Skeletal? How About Healthy?!

My sincerest apology to anyone who reads this. My local newspaper asked for my blog to appear on their site (gratis, of course), so I've been writing there. I will endeavor to update both sites at the same time. Here is my latest tirade.


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Curvy or Skeletal? How About Healthy!

In the 10/15 issue of The Newark Star-Ledger, the column Vicki's Dish posted a quote from fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld. Mr. Lagerfeld was "responding to a German magazine's decision to ban ultra-skinny models from its pages, to the German magazine Focus." The quote reads:

"No one wants to see curvy women. You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly."

Really.

Considering that the average American women is a size 14, obviously SOME PEOPLE want to see curvy women. Curves make women more interesting and desirable, perhaps because men don’t have them. When you think of curves, think Mae West. Think Venus DeMilo. Think Marilyn Monroe. Women were meant to be curvy...and healthy. Not the emaciated stick figures that appear in most magazines. In fact, I think most women would like to see models with a bit more meat on them to accurately reflect what clothes would look like on real women.

And as for "fat mothers with their bags of chips," most stay-at-home moms that I know are far too busy taking care of their children and their house to be sitting around munching chips. That just feeds into the stereotype that all we do is sit around all day eating bon bons. I would challenge Mr. Lagerfeld to take care of my 4-year old and house and find time to squeeze in a bag of Lays. Ain't gonna happen pal.

And yes, many thin models are unhealthily thin. Setting them up as an unhealthy image as “the ideal” results in the many first graders I know who want to go on diets. We set our daughters up for failure and then want to know why their self-esteem is so low. Wouldn’t it be better to, as we’ve started doing, encourage them to eat right and exercise in order to be healthy rather than telling them to be thin so they’ll fit society’s (and this fool’s) image of “pretty”?

In conclusion, I would hope that this fashion designer refrains from, in my opinion, spouting further verbal diarrhea and the media from printing it. Stuff like that serves no purpose except as another media myth I'll have the challenge of teaching my kids to disregard.