I Am The Worst Mother In The World

My Dear Children,

I am the Worst Mother in the World.  I know that because you have told me that repeatedly since each of you was 5 (you're now 8 and 13 respectively).  Apparently there are dastardly qualities associated with that title that you've described in great detail.  I am overprotective because I don't let you go where you want to go by yourself.  I am cheap because I don't buy you all the things you want that your friends have. I am nosy because I talk to other kids' moms about you and what you're doing.  I'm intrusive because I explain to elementary school teachers when you don't understand the homework.   I am an alarmist because I monitor what you watch on television and where you surf on the Web.  I am too concerned about nutrition because I don't let you eat candy non-stop.  I embarrass you because I try to get to know your friends.  I make you go to church when you want to stay home.  I force you to take a shower when you just took one last week.  I won't let you stay home from school when some of your friends' moms let their kids play hookey.  I am strict too strict where other parents are not.

Well, too bad.  I am your mother and I know things you cannot possibly know now and will not know until later.  I know that crime in our town is rising and I don't want you to be a victim.  I won't buy you what you want because money is tight and half of the stuff you buy is going to wind up on the floor of your room within a few months.  You don't always get what you want, so appreciate what you have.  That's just the way it is.  Yes, I get to know your friends and their parents because you are who you hang with and I want to make sure those people share our values.  I speak with your teachers because they may not be aware that they're not getting through to you.  I watch what you're watching so I have some common ground with you and can combat some of the garbage the media and Web is exposing you to.  I monitor your food because what you put in your mouth today becomes a part of your health tomorrow.  I make you go to church because you'll need that spiritual foundation when life kicks you to the curb.  I won't let you cut school because school is your JOB and raising you is mine.  I am strict because I love you - no matter what.

Hate me all you want, call me what you want.  I only get one chance with you and I am NOT screwing that up.  Yes, I AM the Worst Mom in the World and I'm proud of that because I am YOUR mom and love you more than anything.

So there!

Love,

Mom