My Dear Children,
I am the Worst Mother in the World. I know that because you have told me that repeatedly since each of you was 5 (you're now 8 and 13 respectively). Apparently there are dastardly qualities associated with that title that you've described in great detail. I am overprotective because I don't let you go where you want to go by yourself. I am cheap because I don't buy you all the things you want that your friends have. I am nosy because I talk to other kids' moms about you and what you're doing. I'm intrusive because I explain to elementary school teachers when you don't understand the homework. I am an alarmist because I monitor what you watch on television and where you surf on the Web. I am too concerned about nutrition because I don't let you eat candy non-stop. I embarrass you because I try to get to know your friends. I make you go to church when you want to stay home. I force you to take a shower when you just took one last week. I won't let you stay home from school when some of your friends' moms let their kids play hookey. I am strict too strict where other parents are not.
Well, too bad. I am your mother and I know things you cannot possibly know now and will not know until later. I know that crime in our town is rising and I don't want you to be a victim. I won't buy you what you want because money is tight and half of the stuff you buy is going to wind up on the floor of your room within a few months. You don't always get what you want, so appreciate what you have. That's just the way it is. Yes, I get to know your friends and their parents because you are who you hang with and I want to make sure those people share our values. I speak with your teachers because they may not be aware that they're not getting through to you. I watch what you're watching so I have some common ground with you and can combat some of the garbage the media and Web is exposing you to. I monitor your food because what you put in your mouth today becomes a part of your health tomorrow. I make you go to church because you'll need that spiritual foundation when life kicks you to the curb. I won't let you cut school because school is your JOB and raising you is mine. I am strict because I love you - no matter what.
Hate me all you want, call me what you want. I only get one chance with you and I am NOT screwing that up. Yes, I AM the Worst Mom in the World and I'm proud of that because I am YOUR mom and love you more than anything.