Here are some things I wound up saying while the kids and I waited to see Santa. Most I thought I'd never have to say:
- Yes, Santa is going potty (he was on a break). No, I don't know how big his poopies are.
- Yes, reindeer poop. No, there won't be any on our rooftop. The reindeer are rooftop trained.
- Boy, stop trying to throw your sister in the fake snow.
- Little girl, we don't feed fake penguins Cheerios.
- Kids, stop trying to lick the fake candy canes.
- You may not bounce on Santa's lap. He's old &, yes, you might break him.
- I know the elves aren't with him today. No, they did not parachute from the sleigh.
- No, I am not going to ask Santa for aspirin to get rid of my headache. I have my own.
- Yes, Santa is going potty (he was on a break). No, I don't know how big his poopies are.
- Yes, reindeer poop. No, there won't be any on our rooftop. The reindeer are rooftop trained.
- Boy, stop trying to throw your sister in the fake snow.
- Little girl, we don't feed fake penguins Cheerios.
- Kids, stop trying to lick the fake candy canes.
- You may not bounce on Santa's lap. He's old &, yes, you might break him.
- I know the elves aren't with him today. No, they did not parachute from the sleigh.
- No, I am not going to ask Santa for aspirin to get rid of my headache. I have my own.
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